Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
