I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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