I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize