how hairy? two words: wookie tits
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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