I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
