u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Im part way to drunk.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
