Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize