you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
