I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
