I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I puked a lego.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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