I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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