And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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