so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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