I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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