booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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