a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize