all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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