garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
