you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize