The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
