I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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