Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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