its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
