I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
