we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
