Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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