My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
