i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
