I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!