WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
