So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she told me i tasted like america
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
