sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
