Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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