worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
