She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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