thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
