my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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