Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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