plz talk dirty to me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
