Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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