I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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