And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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