I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Small penises have feelings too.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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