is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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