I must be too annoying 4 u.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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