Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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  (813): Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message. http://tfl.nu/p8es
  Replies (22) Good night (5546) Bad night (733)
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  (845): View more from New York

  beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween

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  (845): beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween http://tfl.nu/oes5
  Replies (26) Good night (5815) Bad night (512)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?

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  (301): I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus? http://tfl.nu/vinz
  Replies (20) Good night (4209) Bad night (950)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex

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  (817): So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex http://tfl.nu/vz15
  Replies (67) Good night (1074) Bad night (5355)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives

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  (970): Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives http://tfl.nu/k0eh
  Replies (13) Good night (3539) Bad night (1049)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".

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  (210): This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic". http://tfl.nu/3wpo
  Replies (9) Good night (994) Bad night (3341)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"

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  (202): He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!" http://tfl.nu/yfbj
  Replies (19) Good night (6558) Bad night (1243)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

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  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1295) Bad night (2415)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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  (586): You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you. http://tfl.nu/lwwd
  Replies (6) Good night (4104) Bad night (1060)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished 

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  (916): I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished  http://tfl.nu/f0m1
  Replies (7) Good night (926) Bad night (621)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??

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  (404): Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!?? http://tfl.nu/bcjv
  Replies (0) Good night (488) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.

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  (812): Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords. http://tfl.nu/1djr
  Replies (4) Good night (1915) Bad night (499)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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  (501): Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again. http://tfl.nu/b8kl
  Replies (2) Good night (1052) Bad night (278)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.

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  (512): Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess. http://tfl.nu/vcjk
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.

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  (520): Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions. http://tfl.nu/3zgw
  Replies (0) Good night (603) Bad night (373)

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