I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
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im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.