I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
tonight lets celebrate not being married
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.