I wish I could punch you in the face.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my mouth tastes like poor choices
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
