Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer

(214): View more from Texas

i owe you one

(469): View more from Texas

thanks for snagging those panties for me

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(214): btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer (214): i owe you one (469): thanks for snagging those panties for me http://tfl.nu/g3sv

Replies (9) Good night (1389) Bad night (663)
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(406): View more from Montana

Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.

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(406): Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it. http://tfl.nu/qcms

Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (760)
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(408): View more from California

i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

(650): View more from California

i think otters can do that

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(408): i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both (650): i think otters can do that http://tfl.nu/vhzk

Replies (18) Good night (3370) Bad night (617)
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(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

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(805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m

Replies (11) Good night (3112) Bad night (990)
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(510): View more from California

I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.

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(510): I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend. http://tfl.nu/lprg

Replies (10) Good night (5760) Bad night (707)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.

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(913): I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough. http://tfl.nu/u5ru

Replies (26) Good night (756) Bad night (4179)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

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(203): And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/nbwe

Replies (8) Good night (895) Bad night (2701)
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(214): View more from Texas

Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?

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(214): Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me? http://tfl.nu/3sua

Replies (19) Good night (1107) Bad night (2283)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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(304): I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad. http://tfl.nu/mnuf

Replies (4) Good night (1324) Bad night (725)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.

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(902): Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him. http://tfl.nu/rtyn

Replies (12) Good night (762) Bad night (1954)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.

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(724): Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy. http://tfl.nu/yszi

Replies (2) Good night (1739) Bad night (541)
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(831): View more from California

I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

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(831): I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger. http://tfl.nu/whys

Replies (7) Good night (1204) Bad night (632)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.

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(515): Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use. http://tfl.nu/510e

Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (321)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.

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(847): I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday. http://tfl.nu/imb1

Replies (9) Good night (518) Bad night (677)
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(515): View more from Iowa

yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now

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(515): yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now http://tfl.nu/r5r9

Replies (6) Good night (1141) Bad night (289)

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