Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm not a real person

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry, everyone knows that

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  (586): I'm not a real person (586): I'm sorry, everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/uvd5
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (1038)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.

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  (602): but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please. http://tfl.nu/sk7q
  Replies (14) Good night (894) Bad night (2432)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.

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  (740): i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/qqa2
  Replies (26) Good night (980) Bad night (2755)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

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  (609): ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! http://tfl.nu/wkf6
  Replies (13) Good night (5281) Bad night (738)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1321) Bad night (6044)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

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  (843): I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues. (478): Moment of silence for the loss of that option. http://tfl.nu/jcvy
  Replies (29) Good night (2120) Bad night (7332)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined

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  (207): I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined http://tfl.nu/df5k
  Replies (8) Good night (1464) Bad night (856)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Yep

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  (204): I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh? (1-204): Yep http://tfl.nu/wj63
  Replies (0) Good night (1008) Bad night (518)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.

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  (202): I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school. http://tfl.nu/85a4
  Replies (7) Good night (1878) Bad night (469)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?

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  (770): Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to? http://tfl.nu/60if
  Replies (6) Good night (1123) Bad night (456)
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  (310): View more from California

  Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.

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  (310): Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife. http://tfl.nu/3hkr
  Replies (7) Good night (1332) Bad night (580)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.

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  (708): Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves. http://tfl.nu/d1rk
  Replies (3) Good night (339) Bad night (651)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch

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  (440): No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch http://tfl.nu/as9g
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (286)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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  (317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj
  Replies (2) Good night (800) Bad night (490)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji

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  (201): I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji http://tfl.nu/f5is
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (150)

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