The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Hippo gnu deer
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.