Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face

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  (518): you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face http://tfl.nu/32pr
  Replies (24) Good night (3531) Bad night (782)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Stop trying to talk to my friends!!

  (1-845): View more from New York

  then get some ugly ones...

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  (845): Stop trying to talk to my friends!! (1-845): then get some ugly ones... http://tfl.nu/5xvc
  Replies (18) Good night (6334) Bad night (1746)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?

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  (573): So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number? http://tfl.nu/mc1r
  Replies (16) Good night (964) Bad night (4986)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.

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  (940): He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter. http://tfl.nu/rjmj
  Replies (10) Good night (4498) Bad night (1268)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!

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  (516): Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy! http://tfl.nu/mmzc
  Replies (6) Good night (2943) Bad night (1013)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.

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  (314): This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem. http://tfl.nu/8m5o
  Replies (15) Good night (1028) Bad night (2321)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.

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  (513): Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone. http://tfl.nu/y1zp
  Replies (15) Good night (1693) Bad night (1069)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD

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  (815): i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD http://tfl.nu/w0y8
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?

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  (971): Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics? http://tfl.nu/fki4
  Replies (9) Good night (1457) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-

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  (910): before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_- http://tfl.nu/01p5
  Replies (2) Good night (1087) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.

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  (310): I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there. http://tfl.nu/gafs
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

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  (925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (743)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?

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  (320): So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing? http://tfl.nu/5f4v
  Replies (3) Good night (462) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.

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  (320): It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus. http://tfl.nu/y9c1
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.

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  (541): I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night. http://tfl.nu/j3cy
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (234)

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