im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan