Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sext me about skeletons
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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