This girl is more easily done than said...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Randomize
