it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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