do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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