Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
