So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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