she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
