You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
