I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
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ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
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I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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