I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
