I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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