She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
