In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Pants are for mortals
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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