I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
